Getting
married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the
other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. |
| At
the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other
replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." |
| Man
is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. |
| A
happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives
and the wife takes. |
| Then
there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and then it was too late." |
| Young
Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That
happens in most countries, son." |
| A
little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know,
son, I'm still paying for it." |
| Marriage
is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and
the woman gets her master's. |
| When
a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife. |
| It
doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss. |
| A
man inserted an 'ad' in the classifiers: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine." |
| After
a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice it." |
| Married
life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen. |
| When
a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy - we wonder why. |
| A
woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband
a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" Asked
the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire". |